Billy Joel kinda Day

It's a saturday at the store... I've made a Billy Joel pandora station at Adrian's urging. That man can prompt me to do (almost) anything.

I can see him now, in his sing-songy voice, button-down shirt, handsome face, sitting at his desk (my old desk-- bittersweet memories) in the green Magic Beans office struggling not to sing along to Benny and the Jets in his headphones and answering telephone calls from customers... annoyed to pause right in the bridge of B-B-B-BENNY! Hoping Sarah doesn't look over and see his toe tapping, his fingers jiving on the keyboard as he answers stroller matchmaking emails. Love him.

The Happy Bambino website continues to occupy all of my time. What little time I have left is occupied by my dearest hubby-to-be, wedding plans, bridesmaid-gift-making, and plans for april. Not that I'm complaining, because I'm the kind of person who's built to stay busy. When I run out of things to do in 6 or so months- check back in with me. Hopefully I won't be pregnant, or adopting puppies. I kid! I kid!

Confessions of the Queen Security Guard of the World

I love going through old writings. This piece is SO ME. From the Fogg Art Museum

April 2006.

Humans are funny creatures. I feel like I learn a lot about humanity through the coat room Sunday shift. I can sum up a relationship through one simple question, "Do you guys want me to hang this together?"

It's like I've asked them to define their relationship: sleeping together, seeing each other, dating, boyfriend/girlfriend, married..

Sometimes the answer will be, "We're not together.. but you can put our coats together." followed by an awkward laugh, which I return with a nod.

I feel worst for the couples who come in and one eagerly smiles and enthusiastically says, "Yes!" at the same time that the other one says, "Uh....... well, yes. I mean, sure. That's fine."

Sometimes one feels the need to define the relationship for me, saying, "well... if it means we only get one tag, I guess that's easier..." or "IF they'll both fit together..." I feel like I should take the other partner and pat them on the head and say, "Honey... get out of that relationship, because it's going NOWHERE." If it fits? Two jackets on one hanger? It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know that almost any two jackets can fit on one hanger. And not JUST because I'm the Queen of the Coatroom. I generally end up feeling more like the patrons personal therapist. Sitting behind my desk with a clipboard and glasses, listening to the frustrations of being sent to me to drop off their bags (which have their laptops in them, because they are the type of people that bring laptops to museums), or having to get passes to take pictures, which took an extra three minutes out of their already overstuffed day. And imagine, being asked to leave a backpack or an umbrella in the coatroom! The injustice of it all! And so I'm forced to coddle them; pat their heads, tell them I understand; and all the while hope that at the end of their stay, there's a tip for me so that I can make my way to Starbucks to be coddled by my grande soy caramel macchiato. It's a vicious cycle, it really is; but at the end of the day, I'm glad that I answer to a cup of coffee and not a coatroom attendant.

Humans are strange creatures, especially the ones that frequent art museums.

3 Minute Therapist

Everyone's heard the phrase "retail therapy". Most everyone's probably guilty of the crime every now and again... break up with your boyfriend? buy some new shoes. lose your job? buy a new dress. instant gratification, and there's nothing quite as refreshing as feeling great and getting complimented in a new outfit.

I always understood the concept, but mistakenly thought the "therapist" behind retail therapy was the expenditure of hard earned money and the buying of clothing or household items that seem to redeem your sense of value and self worth.

that is, until I worked in retail (for three + years)

now I understand that as the sales clerk, I am the therapist. Especially in small business, where the success of your business is hinged on your great customer service and helpful, happy, pleasant employees. I like to call myself a "three minute therapist". People come up to the counter and dish their lives greatest woes or biggest joys to me in three minutes... while I'm asking about their day, ringing up their items, wrapping their gifts, and bidding them adieu.

two weeks ago, I was sitting in the store on a rainy tuesday when a woman walked in with teased blond hair, misinformed blue eyeshadow, and a long leather jacket. She was staring at me when she said, "I... have a little problem. Your fence is ok... but my car..." and then she started crying.

I followed her outside to the front of the store, where her car was perched precariously on top of an iron fence outside of our store... fence wedged between the back bumper and the back tire so she couldn't move backwards... and she couldn't move forwards. She continued to cry and said, "I just don't... know... what... to... do"

Quick thinking as I am, I realized that every thursday morning we have a very steady Dad's group that meets. I popped my head into dads group and they all looked up at my invasion as I asked timidly, "Could I get an opinion on something? A... a car thing?" Two of the dads hopped up immediately to our rescue and ran out into the rain to look at this messy situation. We all knew it was bad. My new friend continued to cry, and being the prepared therapist that I am, I patted her wet leather-clad back.

In timing I can only describe as 'divine', my favorite mailman Gil (complete with an amazing handle bar mustache) walked by, in his safari-style rain hat (reserved only for heavy precipitation) and said, "you know what I would do?" and then described to the two dads, my new friend, and myself in complete detail how to jack up the car and rock it off the fence. Which is exactly what they set about to do.

One dad got the car completely jacked up, and the other dad kicked with all his force to free the car from its entrapment on a steel ball topper on the fence. The woman stopped crying and hugged each of us- twice- before leaving. The dads returned to their group... soaked... and I went back to work, a therapy session well done.

I was all-too-pleased to come into work a few days later and see that she'd left a letter for "the automobile angels" highlighted in pink highlighter. I have yet to give it to the dads. but it is thursday.

Mom scolded me recently for horribly neglecting my blog.

I figure between launching a new website at work and planning a wedding, I have license to neglect a blog here or there... but what can you do.

charlie's a big eagles fan. my nights have been spent at the local sports bar (because we don't get the eagles on cable) watching any and all philadelphia teams- eagles and phillies mostly. it looks like the phillies are taking us to playoffs-- see, this is something i never would have considered before, much less blogged about. life takes you weird places.

so february 27 is our day of nuptials. i seem to be a very prepared bride... dad has expressed his thanks that i'm not a "bridezilla"... hah. I'm sure charlie feels the same. tonight we made the journey to men's warehouse to find tuxedos for the big day. it was a success. next up? engagement photos.. wedding bands

Reflection.

Next week is my birthday. 25.

Charlie says 25 was his defining year. He thinks it's everyone's defining year.

I disagree. 24 was definitely my defining year. I.... Lived with two guys in Boston. Traveled to Vegas. My brother fell in love. My sister got engaged. My parents adopted a child. My first cousin got married. I moved across the country. Got a job. Fell in love. Bought a car. Established myself in the Midwest. Made a whole new set of friends. Kept my old ones. Got a credit card. Spent hundreds of dollars at the dentist (sorry mom). Bought a GPS. Spent lots of time missing friends. Jetskied. Learned how to budget (albeit badly). Planned for the future.

In the scheme of my life, though I'm sure to have many more defining years, 24 will definitely be one of the defining years of my young adult life. I look forward to more to come...

Yesterday Charlie and I were out in Middleton, eating lunch at a place called Quaker Steak and Lube (the menu had far too many "lubes" in it for my taste- "Luberita" as opposed to margarita, Lemonade Lube, etc etc- I've made it a personal mission in life to never order a food if I'm uncomfortable saying the name... even the "biker chick salad" seemed a bit obnoxious and derogatory, but it was a great salad so i digress).

About halfway into our meal, we heard the familiar vibration of twin cylinder engines... and out of no where, 150 to 200 motorcycles rolled into the parking lot. and riding on these trusty steeds? a huge pack of wisconsin bikers. now- anyone who knows me knows that this is exactly the kind of activity that makes my day. i mean really. i could have gone home and done nothing else all day and would have been overjoyed. but icing on the cake- a local blues band known as the Blue Olives happened to be there as well, and once the bikers rolled in, the music started. fantastic.

we had the most random and fun saturday, and probably drove around most of dane county two or three times. The weather was gorgeous and not overwhelmingly hot, and it was great to spend a day together having fun and allowing spontaneity to be our guide.

the highlight of the day? Either the motorcycle gang (rallying together to support an end to child violence- love it!) or sitting on the dock in Maple Bluff, overlooking the city at midnight. I love this guy.

Edit- No, Cassie, your dad was not there.

Slow Saturday

But it's only 29 minutes into the day, so I'll be lenient with my customer base. And, it's hot.

Of course I'm rocking Eric Clapton... Come back Baby, let's talk it over one more time

Tonight we're going to the Claddagh Irish Pub tonight in Middleton to dance and see the Blue Olives play- we haven't been dancing since the wedding, and I'm excited. I'm the kinda gal who needs to dance at the very least once a week. It's like maintenance. Luckily, I have a cute boyfriend who also happens to be an excellent dancer.

Dancing compatibility has to have a lot to do with love, I've decided.

But I should work. I'll bid you adieu- and hope I don't eat too many Nilda's Chocolates.

on my porch again- this is my new favorite night time place to write... underneath the tomato plants, struggling to produce fruit through the bouts of heat followed by days of rain, in their little place of captivity.

two days ago, i went for my normal run and it induced a seizure. nothing serious, but nothing good... and i've been afraid to run since.

right away, i knew something was wrong. i was rounding the corner out of my complex when my hands and arms became tingly and tight, as if i'd been running for days straight, but i kept going. next thing i knew, i was blinking back spots of black and willing myself not to faint, and still, i kept running... kept pushing myself to continue, to not quit, to make it through the run.

when my former boss, eli, promoted me to a new position at mbeans he said, "elissa, do you know why you'll be perfect for this job? because you have the highest GSD in the company. that means you get shit done." it's true... my gsd drive is almost overactive- definitely a trait inherited from the loins and lineage of keri bristow, and one i'm proud of. but it's not the best trait to mix with epilepsy. it means that when i need to stop and take a breather, either physically or mentally, i won't allow myself to. because i just have too much shit to get done. charlie's good at patrolling this trait... sometimes irritatingly so.

anyways, post-run i was fine, and spent the evening watching tv and drinking water and felt mostly back to normal though a little glum... but the residual feeling of fear still lingers. that's the worst part about epilepsy. it causes a reaction of fear in your body so that you will cease and desist whatever you are doing and seek safety. even if you are safe. but it's all learning- growing- understanding.

apparently there's a meteor shower tonight though i see no signs of that now. the sky is dappled with a few stars. jingles of dog collars and people coming and going from their apartments remind me that i coexist. hopefully there will be a good show tonight, but like i said- the skies are pretty empty now.

Night Air

I've been running my AC all day but I'm sitting on my porch right now, past midnight, starry night, warm.... intense rain water from last night evaporating and making the air humid and thick. Both cats keep popping their heads out to see what I'm doing out here- they probably think I'm crazy. Maybe.

There's a nice breeze out here- my skin is welcoming organic air. My apartment complex (which is huge) is kind of like a tiny community- like a giant college campus... where no one knows each other. Pool, workout center, community hall with a pool table and game area, hot tub... i use the pool at night when all the bronzed, sunbathing, smirnoff-ice drinking girls have left and it's dark and peaceful. no kids, no creepy guys... just me and the moon.

i was on a walk tonight, and acutely aware of my surroundings. sometimes i'm not- sometimes i walk and see nothing... just think; my mind, rapidly going through the day, the past, the future. this evening i was calm, happy... able to soak it in. i took a new route- appreciated people's blossoming gardens and little houses, peeked in windows when appropriate... continued my realization that wisconsin is now but not my future.

to be candid... i'm happy. love is a new feeling for me- i've grown accustomed to it. lea said last night that although she couldn't believe i'd been working for her for 4 1/2 months, she also couldn't remember a time before me. I know the feeling. I remember life before now... but i've become so used to life now, that it's right. it's comfortable. it's supposed to be. it's me. charlie's wonderful. we're so well suited, it amazes me sometimes. finding a partner who completely understands me... who challenges me, who compliments me- it's fun. it's growth. it's expanding.

Mike and Jacqueline were married today... I wish I could have been there. Pat's giving me a mini play-by-play now and it makes me wish with more fervency that I was there to celebrate with my friends- but I knew making this decision to move that I wouldn't be able to be at every wedding, every party, every celebration- or see every friend on a whim. It's been challenging to be so far from my dear loved ones. But I make new relationships every day, and I'm continually thankful for that.

I should call it a night- my morning will come on full force... but I'm not ready to bid my saturday adieu yet. Soon.

Time Savers and Babies

This morning I had a novel idea: instead of eating breakfast and coffee, why not blend it all together?

I'm into time-saving ideas. So I made a "coffee smoothie" which consists of my coffee, ice, yogurt, and a banana, all blended. It turned into a frothy beverage resembling some sort of health shake. Not terrible though, and definitely saving me time- which immediately wins it major points in my books. Though I love novel ideas and new discoveries, I doubt I'll do it again. The prep and cleanup is not a time saver.

I often reference the blurred line between my work and my life. Really, if you spend 40 hours of your week at a place, and you actually enjoy it, the lines are going to get blurred a little bit. My dreams are often laden with children, babies, breastfeeding, pregnancy. And the more advanced I become at my job.. the more expertise I gain on the products, the more knowledge I share- customers are becoming convinced that I'm a childbearer. Maybe it's Madison, too... maybe I don't look as young as I did (I am, after all, a month shy of 25) because in Boston it was a question, "do you have kids?" and in Madison, it's a frequent, almost constant chime of, "and you use this with your kids?" or, alternately, "how many kids do you have?". I've skipped past the point of possibility and jumped right into the realm of indefinite.

Hopefully, no one's holding their breath for grand kids, because I can't promise any. Most adults go into parenting totally ignorant and excited- no idea what's in store for them- and that's why the human race works. That's why people keep procreating. Don't get me wrong- children are a blessing, but they're equal parts work to blessing. And if everyone knew just exactly how much work and money they are, earth would probably be way less populated. Yesterday, when I was holding Ali's baby Rocket, looking into his tiny dark eyes, I felt so overcome with affection for this tiny being. Tiny humans will do that to you- make you feel overwhelmed with love, overprotective, overcome with joy. And they remind you of the future- to stay forward thinking; they invoke good will, they bring peace. I'll probably have kids, too. It's what we do. For now I have cats, and they haven't failed me yet.