I just can't settle into a groove.

I keep trying to go with the flow only to find that my heart has been splattered all over the place. it's partially in JP, partially in brookline, partially in VT, partially across the country.

how can i reconnect? how can i possibly center myself?

looking for a job is an excruciating process. working at the store all day to come home and spend my night surfing the job market is not my ideal situation. i find myself being too picky. loving one aspect of a job but hating the pay. or loving the pay but thinking i'm under-qualified. or thinking i'm over-qualified and it would be boring. am i sabotaging my own search?

i want to stop my world from spinning, catch it on its axis. take time to appreciate the little things: nose rubs from my cats, nights of sweatpants and tv with my roommates, clean laundry, fresh snow, streets flooded with a yellow glow from the street lamps, unusually quiet nights from my normally loud neighbors, big fluffy clouds filling dark gray skies.

Moments of clarity. Times of silence. Sweet Nothings.