Wedding Thank Yous

Tonight I helped Mikki and Ezra write thank you cards for their wedding. Which was in July. What can I say, I'm a dedicated friend. Mostly, I was assigned to people they didn't know, who gave gifts but didn't come to the wedding. But writing is one of my specialties, especially card writing. I was all about putting a heartfelt, creative twist in my cards. Many of them read,

"Dear Rabbi and Mrs. Lifshitz,

Thank you so much for your generous gift. Ezra and I had a great time shopping for kitchen appliances with the gift card you gave us to Bloomingdales, as we love to shop and outfit our kitchen. We've recently come back from a beautiful and amazing honeymoon, and are settling into married life well. We couldn't be happier! We trust that everything is going well, and will see you at the next simcha. Sincerely, Mikki and Ezra"

right? pretty damn great.

what I really wanted to write was,

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Fishburn,

Thank you so much for your generous gift. Ezra and I spent it on crack cocaine and pornography- money well spent, if we do say so ourselves. Love, Mik and Ez"

I don't know these people, mikki and ez don't know these people, they don't know them..

mostly, i was just bored writing thank yous. and monotony never hits me well. I tire easily of routine, and grow impatient quickly. And then, I find myself writing to little old jewish ladies and their husbands about how their generous $250 check went straight to funding my bad habits. 

ahh, c'est la vie